It has taken me this long to somehow acquire the balls to write anything again. Anything meaningful...or even just mindless drivvle that any fool with a keyboard could excrete like mucus. I think I'm happy. Ive so many reasons to be. But I'm stuck inside yet another systematic sack of bullshit. I dont think my parents get the fact that I cant handle school...I didn't know it myself until yesterday when i realized college is way more trouble than its worth. Im tired of living in a world full of expectations....because that means I have to make choices, and I really really suck at those. I can barely decide to wake up in the morning, let alone what my life goals are or how i'm going to make a living. But making a living isnt living. Its a false pretense the world cowers beneath in order to convince itself there is a meaning. Why do we constantly badger ourselves into making more money, more education, more, more, more, MORE!!! Why is the world never enough?!
I have no idea what to do with my life.....
6 comments:
I don't know what I'm doing w mine either... if you're not going to school, people tend to look at you in a way that you feel that you have to defend your decisions.. sigh.
I would say stay in school for this semester hannah. But as far as the entire world goes, we'll just have to deal with how things go it seems. I mean I am most definitely not ambitious about the college thing either. The only thing is, either way, college or not, these expectations to have a job or to be productive in your own way will not just disappear. Besides, how are you going to buy Val pretty jewelry or become the president of mars hmmm?? (go for mars, its more ambitious and would really kick ass) Ill also talk philosophy with you later. Anyways, if you wanna talk about the whole college dealie-o, just text me. Anyways, goodnight. peace.
yeah i had a talk with my dad and im going to keep trying. you're right about the expectations, im just going to hve to deal with it. hmmmm.....mars eh?
hells yes mars, do it! I am not saying make all of your life decisions right now in a flash. Just keep with this year, see where it goes. (my back just popped amazingly well! it was so cool...) anyways, text me later. I have 8 classes tomorrow, i need sleep lol. good night
just so you're aware, practically every freshman at the university is oging through the same problem. its ok and its normal and you'll make it, i promise.
In my world life makes more sence because I didn't go back to schooling. Suddenly I'm in complete control. I have my boss... but that's pretty much all there is left ordering me around. some time off might do you some good too. It just forces you to meet the minimum you need. which really puts in prespective what you REALLY want. I dunno if that makes sense of not. But.. eh.. if collage doesn't work out right away it's an option.
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